My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My pussy is not your playground.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
