I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Randomize
