yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we're making bets on your personal life
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
