I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
