i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
