Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
