at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
