I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I touched a dick in church today
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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