Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
