tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
