i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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