Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize