You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
