There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
