She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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