He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
