We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
