I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
