Sry I called you an 8
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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