I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
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