belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
