So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
