I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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