he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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