My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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