The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
