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she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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