You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
