im holly from the hills drunk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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