I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
