if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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