looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize