my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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