OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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