I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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