So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Alive.
So much puke
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
