you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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