Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize