is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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