There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
