I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
50% drunk capacity currently
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
