I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
