they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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