I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
porn star boner night. come get it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
