so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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