McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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