operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
