I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize