all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
