i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
