i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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