Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
