Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
