You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
