she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
