Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
