yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
