The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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