Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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