i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
