I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
